Two episodes remain in Survivor 50, with seven players left. Emily and Ozzy got outfoxed in dramatic fashion, and when the final seven return to camp, Rick’s got egg on his face. Their plan to blindside Cirie failed, so now that bridge is burned and his only shot at surviving is immunity in whatever form he can find.
Then there’s the Ozzy debacle, and Rizo’s defending his decision as Ozzy being a sinking ship spilling everything, and now Cirie will be closer to him as her only true ally left. If she knew Ozzy would burn her that badly, she never would’ve worked with him in two million years. Ever. And fresh off a double Tribal showcase, Jonathan takes credit for the Ozzy move, but Aubry pushes back, telling us her obvious choice to leak all the secrets Ozzy told her when she was going home was the actual big move of the night. I don’t know about that one, but you do you.
As the next day dawns, Rick goes idol hunting in true Rick fashion, inspiring Jonathan to sabotage his efforts every step of the way. No idols are found, though, and Rick has a breakdown as seventh place looms. But he’s not just an idol hunter. He won four immunities the first time he played, so don’t count him out of making a challenge run with his back against the wall. Unfortunately for Devens, his challenge run won’t start now. Joe once again crushes a challenge he’s already won before, winning immunity and a BBQ feast he shares with Cirie and Rizo.
So obviously, Rick is going home because every day he’s around boosts his threat level even more at the end. Cirie and Joe encourage Rizo to play his idol, but he doesn’t see a reason to when he’s clearly not a target. And back at camp, the vote is so obvious that we get a segment about Jonathan disgustingly sticking his hand in the rice as everyone complains about Rizo wasting his auction food and sitting pretty with an idol he’s not even doing anything with.
But maybe the vote won’t be obvious after all if these guys are catching heat. Tiffany wants to use Devens as a smokescreen and blindside Rizo, but Aubry steps in to add her own perspective to this vote: Rizo is pissing people off again, and with how badly her game has gone so far, she needs a couple of goats at the end to stand a chance. Cirie doesn’t want Rizo gone either, fearing another lost ally would doom her chances at surviving the next round.
Ultimately, Cirie and Aubry get their way and snuff out Tiffany’s plan, sending an emotional Rick to the jury in a unanimous vote when his Shot in the Dark fails. I’ll fully admit I came into this season NOT a Rick Devens fan by any means, and while I can’t say he’s one of my absolute favorites now, I’ve come around on the guy. He works so much better as a wacky, chaotic side character than as the only person in the cast getting any screen time despite playing an all-sizzle no steak kind of game, so… If Rick Devens 3.0 is ever a thing, sure, bring it on. Why not?
But we’re not done with this episode just yet. It’s a double boot, and we have another cycle to get through before we head into the finale. Rizo is now target number one, but Aubry once again steps in to offer a different plan: get Tiffany out as the true biggest threat left. She’s got challenge skills, social skills, and strategic skills. She might be the least notable player on the cast (and with an awful edit to match sadly), but she’s put in the work to overcome that small legacy and put her name on some moves. And Aubry is not going to let a Michele-style player sneak to the end again.
Rizo spills the Tiffany plan to Jonathan, and even though Jonathan wants Cirie kept out of the loop, Rizo runs to her and spills the beans anyway. The Rizgod is now the Rizrat, leaking plans left and right to fill the void left by Emily Flippen’s departure.
Despite the rest of the final six coming together to beat Tiffany in a word puzzle, Joe and Jonathan totally botch their spelling and let Tiffany pass them by on her own, pulling off the most clutch win of the season so far. So with the easy target safe, another big threat has to go, and options are limited. But on the bright side, Survivor is bringing back the fan favorite vote this season with a $100,000 bonus prize from Sia, so… that’s something, I guess. Surely they aren’t throwing this in at the last minute to placate the fans who are about to rage quit when every single one of their rooting interests goes home before the finale, right?
Back at camp, Aubry is pissed at herself for trying to help Joe and Jonathan instead of trying to win the challenge herself. With Tiffany immune and Rizo probably playing his idol, it means Cirie is now on the chopping block, but she has to get Rizo, Joe, and Jonathan on her side for this vote. For Rizo, it’s a heartbreaking move to make after riding and dying with Cirie all season, but he’s here to win (even though he probably can’t), and she will mop the floor with him in any final three. He just can’t let Cirie know about the plan. That’s when things would get messy.
But Cirie knows her name is out there. Why wouldn’t it be? She’s the queen, and everyone wants that crown on their wall. Cirie goes to Tiffany and pitches an Aubry blindside, spoiling the failed plan that Aubry was throwing out before she saved herself. Tiffany is a lock for Cirie’s side, but she needs another vote: Jonathan, who’s pretty easy to twist around her finger. So it’s time to expose Rizo’s flip-flopping rat game… No, scratch that. She frames Aubry as the rat, setting off a domino effect that gets Jonathan and Joe freaking out about this phony betrayal. When word gets back to Rizo, he keeps his mouth shut about the truth and lets things play out, hoping he can wrangle the guys to his side before it’s too late.
This Tribal is due to be a showdown of legends. Cirie vs Aubry. Both multiple-time players who arguably should’ve won by this point. Cirie’s played a mastermind game this season, if not her best game of all time. Aubry’s been heating up and threatening a move for half the season and is trying to seize control at the last second. And as “inconceivable” as it might have seemed a couple weeks ago… the queen is finally dethroned.
Rizo holds onto his idol for final five, and Cirie is voted out 4-2 with only Tiffany in her corner, ending the legacy of the best to never win with a simple majority vote-out with no twist or surprise final two involved, the one thing she hadn’t fallen victim to in five prior seasons. It’s brutal to see her go after playing the best game by a mile, especially when it only got ruined because of Ozzy’s blunder and Rizo failing to correct it for her. Still, at least I’ll be voting every day over the next week to give her that Sia money so she gets something to reward her efforts.
Anyways, if you’ll afford me a minute or two on the soapbox… Production, you should be absolutely ashamed of yourselves for how this season panned out. You guys truly dropped the ball every step of the way after two years of hype. You gave us the power to “design the game,” only to have almost every option worded in a way that got you the outcome you wanted, then blamed us for the season’s worst twists as though we personally asked for Blood Moon and Tied Destinies to happen.
You snubbed some all-time legends like Sean Rector, Jerri, Ian, and Rob Cesternino to pack this cast with questionable choices that ultimately made the finale together. And then, instead of actually telling us the story of this group of underwhelming finalists to build up a proper narrative with a respectable and understandable winner despite a weak boot order (see Game Changers for how it’s done), you just threw your hands in the air over your big stars falling short and told their stories alone, leaving the real finalists to sit there on the sidelines.
And now you bring back a fan favorite vote to soften the blow, as if that makes it all okay? Absolutely not. I’m not going to shade this final five for doing what they had to do, given the hand they were dealt. I’m not mad at them for playing the game even if I didn’t need any of them on this season in the first place. That’s just how it goes, and you have to deal with it.
But I can shade the editors for botching the storytelling so hard that the finale might as well be a post-it note now. Suddenly, Tiffany is this huge jury threat when she’s barely been on the screen. Suddenly, Aubry “I’m Heating Up” Bracco is “masterminding” votes while Cirie calls her out as a floater on the way out, not to mention she’s been edited as a miserable doofus since the premiere and ignored when it’s time to actually strategize. Joe has been completely dunked on all season as the ultimate hater of all things fun, and now Jonathan and Rizo have joined him in the dodo edit clown car at the last minute, just to explain why they probably lose a jury vote to whatever underedited winner we get next week.
Meanwhile, the rest of the season, from day one, was about Cirie and Ozzy, Coach, Rick Devens, Christian, Genevieve, Mike White… All the huge stars who got twist-screwed along the way or didn’t last as long as they’d hoped. Are they just pissed at the final five for taking out the biggest names and punishing them in post for the awful boot order? Because it sure feels like this edit was constructed out of raw spite against the players when it’s production who messed up and overproduced everything with their celebrity tie-ins and broken twists on top of sloppy casting.
And that’s why it hurts too much to be looking down the barrel of a 50th season finale and feeling nothing but apathy. Because it didn’t have to be this way, especially in a season called In the Hands of the Fans. Nothing was really in our hands at the end of the day except the buff colors and a couple of minor gimmicks that didn’t really matter. The cast could’ve been so much better with how many legit stars wanted another shot, only to be left furious at how they were treated during the process.
The game design could’ve made actual sense and left us with a fun format, not decided by lucky draws and celebrity twists at every turn. And even if the season fell short of expectations on the island, then suck it up and lie in the bed you made, please. The edit could’ve told the story they had to work with and not the one they wanted to tell and felt robbed of, because all we got was a glorious Cirie win dangled in our faces like a carrot all season, only to feel cheated as she’s booted by five random players who’ve been undermined and skunked in various ways all season.
But like, what are we even doing here anymore? This was supposed to be a season of joy, but I feel no joy heading into this finale. There’s nothing to celebrate here. I have nobody left to really root for (except Aubry, I guess, because I have to root for old school to put 26 days to shame). I’m just staring at my screen, wondering how so many things can go wrong when there were so many chances to push the season in a better direction, from the day it was announced to the day it began shooting. Now we’re getting a fan favorite vote and more potential returnee seasons dangled in our faces like jingling keys to keep us from revolting over a horribly produced All-Star season.
How about this instead: boot Jeff Probst and his army of yes-men out of the production room and let the players actually play again. No more cameos from celebrities who don’t add anything to the show and might not even watch it. No more broken twists that stifle good gameplay for episodic shock value and only serve to make everyone play scared. Because if you can’t get this season right when it should’ve been the easiest slam dunk of the show’s history, how am I ever going to have any faith in the 50s seasons, be it with newbies or returnees or both, to stop falling into the same easy-to-avoid traps season after season? This season should be a wake-up call… but it won’t be. That I have faith in.
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