Yeah. The title of this recap sums it up for this installment of Survivor 50, to be honest. But before we get into the Zac Brown of it all, there is still some gameplay to discuss.
Last time, we lost Q as the David vs. Goliath trio scooped up Emily and Ozzy to take control, putting Stephenie firmly on the bottom. Emily’s proud of herself for building a loyal alliance, even if it means Vatu is going to struggle in challenges, but she’s not totally sold on this group just yet. Christian is supposed to be her ally, not Angelina and Mike’s ally. Meanwhile, Ozzy unites with Steph to gun for Angelina next. Not just to strengthen the tribe but to isolate Mike, forcing him to count Ozzy as his number one and build a more solid old school foundation with Cirie and Steph down the road, I’d assume.
While Vatu deals with their fallout, Cila hosts a talent show featuring Rick’s awkward juggling, Rizo imitating Mickey Mouse, and Charlie and Jonathan acting out a fight, which Charlie loses handily. Cirie, Dee, and Kamilla, as the judges, declare RizGod the winner, but Charlie’s fake crashout over the results isn’t just for show. He’s still worked up over Rizo’s jury voting philosophy, and he’ll stop at nothing to take Rizo out of the game ASAP, even if the guy’s Mickey Mouse impression is a respectable 10/10.
Meanwhile, on Kalo, Genevieve braids Coach’s hair while Aubry goes idol-hunting as the “leper of her tribe,” as she puts it. One idol is great, but two wouldn’t hurt. Unfortunately, Genevieve tags along before she can even search anywhere, and Gen sees what’s going down plain as day. Aubry got busted and looks like a deer in headlights, so now it’s time to lock in and stop her from getting more ammo… by finding that idol herself!
Tragically, it’s another Boomerang Idol, so that’s two idols Genevieve has found but can’t even use (yet). Last time she gave one to Ozzy and spoiled the secret to her alliance, but now she’s giving this one to Rizo and not telling a single soul. Not because she wants Rizo as a long-term ally, but because he’s one person she can definitely blindside in the future, given the trust they have from their original Vatu days.
Immunity and reward are up for grabs today, and it’s the biggest reward of the season, where (sigh) we get our first in-person celebrity tie-in since Billie couldn’t be bothered actually to show up in Fiji. It’s Zac Brown of Zac Brown Band fame, and he’s here to deliver the winning tribe a fish dinner and a country concert at the Sanctuary. But only the winning tribe. Second place still gets immunity and no reward, while the losers get a date with Jeff at Tribal Council. Kalo takes the win by a hair, Cila takes a respectable second place, and Vatu flops so bad they can’t even reach the puzzle in time to stand a chance.
Now, I could genuinely recap this reward where Zac Brown gives more confessionals than people actually playing the game… but instead I’ll just talk about how much we didn’t need the celebrity tie-ins this season. Because that’s not a dead horse at this point, right? The Billie Eilish Boomerang Idol wasn’t even her idea as much as it was Jeff’s idea she signed off on, and she still hasn’t acknowledged it or the season itself, no matter how many times they mention it on air. And now we have this Zac Brown episode where a solid third of it is spent watching him fish, cook, and sing for people who barely have anything to do but sit around and nod.
I get it: CBS paid a lot to air these songs and wanted their money’s worth. But this segment is just dragged out and bland, and watching players reach to apply TWO Zac Brown songs to the game of Survivor isn’t as funny in practice as it should be. Not even Coach glazing another celebrity reward in ridiculous fashion could make this one land, I fear. It’s too much of nothing interesting, and the smallest upsides will be forgotten overnight as we’re all left wondering, “Why did we sit through that again?” And we still don’t know what the Jimmy Fallon and Mr. Beast episodes are going to bring to the table later on.
While Dee breaks down about losing the reward, and Rizo discovers the idol in his bag on Cila, Vatu hits their beach and strategizes for the impending Tribal. The immediate name on the chopping block is Angelina, but Mike White pitches hard for her to stay as a loyal, non-threatening number, and that’s music to Ozzy’s ears. While the jungle boy tries one-upping Zac Brown’s spearfishing prowess, the rest strategize. Mike pulls Stephenie aside and tries to get the votes on Emily, a wolf in sheep’s clothing. She’s dangerous, and nobody’s seeing it, but give her too long to play, and she’ll end up cutting some throats, including all of theirs.
But hearing of Mike’s plan, Christian pushes back. He doesn’t want either of these women to leave tonight, so he’s out to look for a third option. But Mike knows the best angle to push. Emily is Christian’s new Gabby, and if Christian might recall, Gabby eventually tried to overthrow him after a season-long partnership and got them both voted out just shy of the finale. Painful memories bring tears to Christian’s eyes, and Mike’s puppetmastering seems to be working… until Christian sees right through Mike’s entire game and decides it’s time to send him back to The White Lotus. Stephenie and Emily. That’s all he needs. Ozzy is voting for Angelina. Mike and Angelina are voting for Emily. So it’s a classic Cirie style 3-2-1 vote.
Christian’s biggest fear, though, is letting Ozzy in on the plan, worrying he’ll blow it up to Mike, looking for that White Lotus cameo. And lo and behold, Emily immediately tells Ozzy that Mike is coming for her in front of Christian, putting Christian on high alert as he tries to prevent even more leaks in this rickety ship of a plan. So maybe he should just stick with his original season alliance and vote Emily out if she’s this loose-lipped. Mike’s dangerous, but in a competent way that could result in a direct shot landing on Christian a second time. But Emily’s messy and liable to blow up plans left and right, ruining the work Christian has done for himself. So either way, he’s losing an ally with pros and cons here.
Ultimately, he chooses the messy route, blindsiding Mike White and majorly burning Angelina and Ozzy in the process. Despite Emily’s blunders, she’s still in the game as Christian’s number one. Still, we’ll see if that holds if Vatu loses again… which they probably will because next week we’re finally getting a proper double elimination! Took you long enough to start whittling down the numbers. However, you might need a few more doubles to avoid the endgame being unwatchably rushed nonsense (featuring some celebrity cameo nobody asked for, I’m sure).
But yeah, I’m skipping the Zac Brown advertisement on future rewatches. And it sucks because the rest of the episode was great! The drama of Christian deciding between his allies and pulling a 3-2-1 against the man who originally ended his game last time? That’s so good you’d swear it was scripted TV. But unfortunately, we had to sit through the other half of the episode, where absolutely nothing happened unless you’re a huge Zac Brown fan. But as someone who couldn’t tell you anything about the guy before this episode, including what genre he sings… Yeah that segment was NOT for me.
It’s cool to see Colby enjoying himself on the show again. It’s almost fun to see Coach glazing another awkward reward for easy airtime. Some of the spearfishing shots were breathtaking for a cheap CBS reality show, I guess. But when Zac Brown gets more screentime than Cirie Fields? Oh, no, that’s not acceptable. And thankfully, next week picks up the pace and delivers something a bit less of a snooze… Hopefully. Because if Jeff says it’s the Jimmy Fallon Double Boot Twist, I might just take the night off.
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