by Martin Holmes and Ian Walker
“For Cod’s Sake” is without doubt one of the funniest Survivor episodes of all time.
There are almost too many funny moments to list. Bruce Kanegai builds a zen rock garden instead of helping with the fire and is later annoyed when Courtney Marit takes up her yoga practice in it. Speaking of Courtney, she continues her back-and-forth bickering with Shane Powers, who tells her “I’m not yelling at you! I’m yelling in general!” Cirie Fields has her first sushi experience, “I don’t want to wake up with some… infection.” Even the vanilla La Mina tribe provide humor as Austin Carty and Nick Stanbury suffer from gastrointestinal distress, way before Stephen Fishbach turned it into a hashtag in Cambodia.
All hail the Almighty Bob Dawgsta WOO WOO!! Bobby “Bobdawg” Mason lives in the Survivor lore as one of the most underrated, and underedited, players in history. Sure, he didn’t make a huge impact in his five episodes in Survivor: Panama, but digging beneath what the edit didn’t show reveals a whole lot more. Lying underneath all of that macho gangsta bravado lied a shrewd and savvy mind (he is a lawyer after all) with a nimble wit that could cut down any fools that stood in his way, an ability he puts to great use on his way out the door.
Things had been going pretty well for Bobby at the beginning of his boot episode. He spent the reward challenge chopping fish heads like nobody’s business to secure his tribe a sweet reward of fish and wine (you could say he is the Jesus of Survivor). This reward win leads to one of the best bro dates in the history of bros. Bobby and his pal Bruce enjoy a really swell night of drinking wine in the Casa de Charmin (an outhouse bathroom won at a previous reward), unbeknownst to their other tribe mates, which causes a problem, particularly with one alleged poser.
Courtney wasn’t really about hoarding all of the wine, as a fire dancing hippie she was more into the sharing thing, so she decides to call out Bobby for his wine-capades the next morning. The ensuing fight is finally the moment where Bobdawg achieves peak almightiness and drops the hammer on her. “I don’t feel bad that I stole your wine,” he says. “Like, I feel bad that I deprived them of wine. But I have no hard feelings whatsoever about the fact that you’ve been deprived of wine.” Consider the mic fully dropped.
Unfortunately for Bobby, he was on the Casaya tribe, the most functionally dysfunctional tribe in the show’s history and somebody’s game was bound to collapse under all of that crazy. In one of her first truly skilled and subtle plays, Cirie (who describes her alliance as “some psychotic joke”) leads fellow women Courtney and Danielle “He’s Not a Gentleman” DiLorenzo in voting out Bobdawg, gaining the majority in a 3-2-1-1 vote. In a tribe that full of crazy, the player with the calmest demeanor and the sweetest smile prevailed, resulting in the ouster of Mr. Bobdawgsta. Let’s strike a King’s Ransom pose in his honor.